The Wrath of God

“You can’t just keep fucking a different girl every day of the week. There’s got to be like some divine law against it. Sooner or later something will happen and you'll be punished for your frivolity. I’m not talking about getting caught and being called a jerk, I’m talking lightning bolts from a clear sky. Nuns jumping from bushes screaming Hail Marys at you. The Wrath of God!” I said.

“I know, I know,” he said.

“So—you fucked that girl last night?”

“Um, yeah.”

“The Wrath of God! The Wrath of God, get it? And you know she’s gonna start calling you now.”

“No she won’t. Why would she?”

“Because she’s on rebound. Because you fucked her. Because up to six months ago she was sending you twenty-five text messages a night telling you how you ruined her life.”

“Oh man, you’re right. Oh no.”