February 2001

February 21, 2001

Gifts evenly distributed

Evidently I was born with the same innate math ability as Einstein. Pretty cool. While psychology proved that race doesn't affect intelligence already some time ago, this goes to show that even the individual differences aren't necessarily so great.


February 19, 2001

Thankfully done with the old-times dance ordeal

Last week is a blur. My school ended the week before but I was busy tying up loose ends on several different work projects and school. The Old Times dances were on Thursday and Friday and I'm glad it's over with.

The Thursday evening dance went fine, though I was a little nervous because all the parents were watching. Anna's whole family was there (which was a bit of a surprise). My mom met them briefly, which, in way, is kind of funny. It's been almost three months since we broke up and this was the first time they met. I talked with my mom about Anna and how she has changed since we were going out. Mom speculated that perhaps Anna was going through a phase and that the changes have been in part her way of dealing with the break-up. I thought Anna was over me, but after Friday night I know now better.

Anna, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I do care for you still. I think I always will. I feel bad for all the stuff I put you through and all the pain you feel. I know you can make your life the way you want it—you haven't ruined anything.

Saturday night Elexa, Taneli and I went to see Hannibal. I kept falling asleep—I just couldn't keep my eyes open. All in all, I thought the movie sucked. It was really boring and so many scenes seemed like they didn't go anywhere. Then again, I admit that since I fell asleep several times, I might have missed essential parts. Elexa agreed with me, but Taneli thought Hannibal was great. He said he was "riveted" throughout the movie.

I guess I'll have to rent it some day and watch it again. I've found that some movies that didn't impress me the first time I saw them turned out to be okay the second time I watch them. I guess what I look for in a movie changes.

Our grandma from California arrived today. She'll be staying with us for a month. When I first realized exactly when she was coming, I wasn't too thrilled. I had counted on studying for my matriculation exams at home during the coming weeks. Now I'll have to go to the library like everyone else if I want total peace and quiet.

To tell the truth, I'm really nervous about the matriculation exams. I want to do well, but it seems unlikely that I will. I'd have to study really hard for the next three weeks, really keep my nose to the grindstone. I have a bad track-record of actually sitting down and getting to business. I feel some how hopeless, like I can't help myself. I feel like I know what to do, still don't do it, and that I can't do anything about it. Now that's a depressing feeling.