I never knew breaking up could be so hard. Truth be told, Anna was my first major relationship. So that makes this my first major break-up. I feel down a lot. It's little things that remind me of what I will miss. What I already miss.
This was something I had to do. I'm not exactly sure why. I just know that I couldn't go on the way things were. I don't want to lay blame on Anna. It doesn't have much to do with her at all. It has to do with my feelings, my situation, my life. And I couldn't go on. I think I really need to find myself.
It hurts me so much to see Anna hurting so bad. I wish I wasn't the one causing her so much pain. I wish this was easier. She doesn't need this. But I'm doing this for myself. And I know this is what I had to do. Anna understands too. It's just really hard. I have so many conflicting feelings. So does she.
We're dealing with our hurt in very different ways. Anna questions whether I really care for her because of what I did. She doesn't see me hurting the way she hurts. Even through the pain, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. At least I know it's there. I know that we'll get over this. It'll take time, but I will. Anna's not sure. Maybe it's the few years I have on her. Or maybe it's the way we were brought up.
It'll all be alright. It will. I know it hurts. I hurt. But this isn't the end. There is a tomorrow.